Every morning the girls and I walk here...
This is Alex's school - it is about a half mile from our house.
We leave our house around 8:15 - I usually have my travel mug of coffee and sometimes the girls have their hot cocoa with marshmallows. Most often we all walk (well, Maddie gets the stroller), but sometimes Alex will ride her scooter or her bike. In the afternoon, we meet Alex at the playground, play for a while, and then walk back home. We have enjoyed being so close, relying on our car less, and getting some exercise.
However, what I love best about walking to and from school is my uninterrupted time with my oldest daughter. This is, by far, my favorite time of day - especially in the afternoon. We are sometimes rushed in the morning (go figure), but in the afternoon we rarely have an agenda and take our time getting back home. This is the time when she opens up to me. It's when she tells me about her day at school - what excites her and what saddens her. It's when she tells me about what (or who!) she likes and what (or who!) she dislikes. It's when she puts her trust in me - when she lets me in on her thoughts and ideas. Usually it is her hand in mine - a mother/daughter bond strengthened through love and trust. It is always a time when I only have to be attentive to her (as long as Maddie is strapped into the stroller occupied by something!) - no phone, no computer, no friends, no bills, no worries, no distractions - just me and her (and to be sure, Maddie throws in her two cents from time to time, but even she seems to understand that this is Alex's time). I have come to value this time like no other - it is where I connect with her. It is where I know she feels safe and loved.
On the few days that we have had to drive (because of rain or running REALLY late) it is a completely different experience - it only takes about 2 minutes, the radio is on (usually talk radio - I can't get away!), and I'm paying attention to driving and not to her. Even as the temperature drops I still plan on walking - we will bundle up and take advantage of our great location. I know that she will not always want to hold my hand or open up to me so I plan on taking advantage of it for as long as I can, and if that means walking when it's FREEZING outside, I'll do it. (Which, for the record, FREEZING for me now means something else than it did 5 years ago - the south made me a wimp!!! I need my Wisconsin thick blood back!) I'm hoping that I'm laying the groundwork for her to always feel safe telling me anything - right now, at six, that's easy. In ten years it will be a different story and I want her to have a history of open and honest communication with me to rely on. Perhaps I'm being too idealistic, but I realize that at this point in her life, I have the greatest influence and I pray everyday that I use it in her best interest.
Here is a picture of the girls yesterday morning as we headed out into 30 degree temperatures - we can always put on more layers!!
What about you? How and where do you find the special times of open and honest communication with your children?
6 comments:
Lately it has been at bedtime. Ethan (4) has started asking me (completely unprompted, I might add), "Do you want to know my best part of today?" With Natalie (6), there's no set time but it usually happens when we rock together. I think it is somewhat different for us since we're homeschooling and therefore together ALL the time! But on occasion, we'll take her reading book and do reading together on her bed, which has often led to some sweet bonding time.
Julie - you are good to do it at bedtime. Honestly, at that point I'm really ready for "me time" and try to get them in bed as fast as I can. I often have to remind myself that whatever it is I was planning on doing can wait. I'm glad you find the time and recognize how important it truly is. :)
Also - read somewhere (here in cyberspace) that you played all services on Sunday - wish I could have heard - I always loved hearing you - so talented!
Holly - you are an amazing mom! I pray that you have these times with the girls the rest of your lives!! (and can I tag along occasionally :) )
Oh believe me - most nights I am SOOOO ready for "me time!!" But I'm noticing more and more that God is reminding me that I need to savor those little moments. It won't be very long before the kids start changing and will be less interested in rocking and just being with me. I want to make the most of it when I can, but I admit - sometimes I simply have to make myself change my attitude first.
I did play on Sunday - and thank you for the kind words! I play again Nov. 9th...you should come for a visit! ;)
My favorite time of day with Caleb is starting to be mornings- he's usually a little calmer still and will snuggle with me in bed before we get up for the day. I have started reading a picture scripture book with him before we eat breakfast. I'm trying to soak up lots of one on one time with him before we add more children to the mix. Great post. I'm sure this will be a memory you will both always treasure.
Holly, I love that you enjoy that time with Alex. I know that it makes my work-day go by easier knowing that you are "doing life" with our girls. You are an amazing, amazing mother.
See, aren't you glad I ripped you out of yet another city so that you can have this wonderful experience with our girls? I'm such a great guy...
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