When the girls went to bed last night, we were still unsure of the outcome so when Alex woke up this morning she excitedly asked me "Mom, who is our new president?" I told her, with tears in my eyes (I'll explain in a minute), that our new President was Barack Obama. I then went on to explain that even though we wanted a different outcome, as Americans, we will still support him. However, the wonderful thing is that our King is still the same and is in control - God doesn't change with the whims of man - what an awesome truth!
However, here is where it gets interesting...(and the point of this post)...
Alex overheard the news saying we elected our "first black president". She looked at me and said, "what do they mean by black?"
Now, my daughter is not stupid, our family is not racist, and I've studied the ins and outs of history. Here is the truth - my daughter, and many of her friends are truly "color blind". She has been in two schools now that are very diverse - people of all different creeds and colors - and NEVER has she ever described a friend to me in terms of the color of their skin. I have noticed this and applauded this fact and discussed it with other moms in her class. Sometimes, it was frustrating because she would be talking about a friend whom I didn't know - I wanted to ask about the color of their skin just to narrow it down, but I always refrained because it was never an issue for her - she would describe their hair, how tall they were, how they talked, etc., but NEVER by their skin color. Isn't that incredible?? And wonderful!!
It brings to mind a conversation I had with another parent (Hi Tiffany!) in her Kindergarten class last year...
We were discussing this very thing - about how our children never referred to their friends by the color of the skin. Her little girl described them in terms of chocolate - were they dark or milk chocolate colored or in shades of brown? Her mother then asked her what color she was (she is a white little girl) and she responded, "duh, I'm light khaki!!" :) We had a good laugh over that, but also rejoiced in the fact that color was a non-issue for them.
I was raised to never think differently about a person based on the color of their skin, their ethnicity, language, etc. (thanks Mom and Dad!) and so for me, race has never been an issue. However, I think it was easy because we lived in such a homogenous area - everyone was like us. Yet, I've also studied a lot of history, have a degree in history, and am a former history teacher - so, I know my stuff - I challenge you to trivial pursuit anytime (I will just request a pass on the sporting events questions)!! :) I understand the history of race in our nation and am proud to live in a country that has fought for the rights of ALL people.
Back to Alex...
When she asked that question, I found myself at a loss for words. I wanted her to know, but hated to even make it an issue - an item that she could now use to classify people. I knew that she would be hearing that phrase, "the first black president" for weeks and months - even years to come so she had to know. It's not that I wanted to hide the past from her, it's just that it has been so refreshing to see how her generation is displaying what we have all hoped for for so long - people being judged by the content of their character, not on the color of their skin. I gave her a brief history that went something like this...
I named a few of her classmates that were black and asked if she ever thought about the color of their skin. She, of course, said "no". :) I pointed out how Obama and some of her friends have darker skin than she does and how it makes absolutely NO DIFFERENCE to us and to most people. I went on to tell her that, unfortunately, years ago and some people still today, treat people with darker skin in a different way and that they used to not be able to go to the same school, ride on the same train, vote, etc. I said that it was historically significant that someone with darker skin, like Barack Obama, is now the next president of the United States. I said how wonderful it was that a man like him could be elected considering our nation's past.
I tried to keep it brief and to the point (as I've also tried and failed with this post!). I asked her if she understood and she said, "well, I'm just a kid and I don't know all the juicy words like you, I just like my friends because they are my friends." What a profound thought!
Now, back to the "tears in my eyes"...
I wasn't tearful because Obama was elected, I was tearful because I knew that I had to have this conversation with her. I have really struggled with this because I really don't want race to be an issue with her - EVER. We will always teach her to respect those who earn it, we will always teach her to love her neighbor as Christ commands, we will always teach her empathy and compassion to all people, and we will always teach her to never judge people based on their appearance. Did I do the right thing? Have I now given her a way to judge and classify someone? I hope not - I think she is a bright little girl and I think she is growing up in a multicultural world where many can look past color, creed, etc. I know that she will have many questions in the coming days and I hope I have the answers.
I'm curious and I would love to hear from you - how do others handle this - how do you make race a non issue, but still have your child understand the historical significance of this election? How do you applaud your child for not seeing stereotypes, yet truthfully discuss the history of race in America?
(Sidenote: Yes, I know that Obama is technically biracial - it has irked me this entire election process that he is referred to as African-American. It bothers me that he identifies himself with his father only because of the color of his skin - his father left him at the age of two and he saw him one other time in his life. He was raised by his white mother and his white grandparents. However, this one will go in the history books as the "first African American president" so I got over that fact. And as I said before, race is a non-issue for me - I disagree with his policies not his color!)
3 comments:
All human beings in the world are classified as Homo sapiens. Scientists admit that(biologically) there really is only one race of humans. We teach our kids that there is only one race - the human race. God created Adam and Eve and all people came from them. So we are all of the same race. Also on anything that asks our race, we check "other" and write in human. So we teach our kids to be consistant with this. There is one major pigment, called melanin, that produces our skin color. How dark or light your skin is has to with the amount of pigment you have (the lighter your skin the less you have). We teach our kids that Adam and Eve were probably middle brown. From middle brown, genetically, you can end up with all the skin colors. We show our kids the picture of the couple who had twin girls (that look almost identical except for one is white and one is black). Check out http://www.snopes.com/photos/people/mixedtwins.asp for some cute pics of these girls. They both came from the same parents, but just have a different amount of pigment in their skin (just like one child could have brown eyes and their sister could have blue). Our kids understand that we are all the same, the toughest part is that our culture continues to seperate us. We have black schools, BET (Black Entertainment Television), "the black vote", black churches (as we heard so much about with Rev. Wright), etc. As long as this is our culture it will be impossible for any of us to remain truly color blind and see people the way we really are - the same.
We love you guys!
@casey - totally agree - I find it hypocritical and inconsistent that the "black" community can classify themselves as "black", but if the white community did the same then they are labeled as racist. I wonder how many people looked at Obama's church of 20 years - there is no way there could ever be a "white value system" like the "black value system" his church has endorsed. I understand the history of it and applaud the achievements of ALL human beings regardless of the color of their skin. But, you're right, as long as we continue to point out the differences, how can it get better? I hope that perhaps this presidency can somehow work to unify our divided nation.
I too was disappointed by the outcome of this election, but will also pray for our new President and hope he can bring our country together. My children were watching this election closely on Tuesday keeping track of the electoral votes each candidate were accumulating. It was a great learning experience for them and they even new some important issues and why we were voting a certain way.
My kids don't see color either, which I am very proud of and grateful to see. In fact, the next morning they were showing Obama on stage with his family and his girls as well as Biden's family. My daughter asked "I thought Obama only had two girls, how many kids does he have?" She was seeing four little girls on stage (Bidens grandchildren are blonde!). I explained that two were Obama's and the other children were Biden's grandkids. Thank you for your post!
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