Here were some options...
"Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy"
"Free at Last"
"Failure"
"How to Break Your Child's Heart"
"I'm Not Superwoman"
Can you guess what this post is about yet?
Our day of reckoning came - Nash is gone. Another family came and picked her up on Sunday and brought her to her new home - where she will be loved and happy.
I gave it my best shot - and failed. Man, how I hate those words. I should have known how hard it was going to be. I should have known that expectations (for others to walk her, pick up her poop, etc.) would lead to my disappointment. I should have listened to all the people who told me I was crazy. I should have realized how much of her care and training would fall on my shoulders. I should have known better - but, I didn't.
We went into this whole puppy thing knowing that it would be hard and crazy for a while - especially with a baby. And we went into it thinking that we didn't really have a choice (read backstory about Nash being a gift).
About 2 1/2 weeks ago I had a miserable day spent with the dog and all 3 children at the vet (all the while fuming that my husband scheduled the appointment at a time that guaranteed that he could NOT make it and that I HAD to take all 3 children with me!!!). I spent the hour long appointment trying to keep Owen from screaming, allowing Maddie to entertain herself with my phone (which later I found contained a slide show of about 40 pictures she took while there), and trying to pay attention to what the vet was saying.
You may recall that Nash had mites, or the mange. Well, it turns out she didn't and that the vet really didn't know what the heck she had. So back on antibiotics she went mixed in with some prednisone (my dog was on freaking steroids!!). If that didn't work then he recommended a skin biopsy.
Yes, I just said a skin biopsy for a dog.
If that still turned up nothing then he would refer her to a veterinary dermatologist. Did you even know that they had dermatology for animals?!? I can't even get myself to a dermatologist and now I might have to take the dog to one?!?!!
My head was spinning as I sat wondering "what the hell have we gotten ourselves into?!? I don't even like dogs. Why on earth did I think that I wanted to do this?! How big of an idiot am I?!?"
Nate and I exchanged words that night. (Read into that all you would like - it was not pretty.)
The next day our mangy dog chewed through Maddie's less than a month old Pottery Barn Kids back pack. (I only mention PBKids because you can imagine that it wasn't the cheapest of back packs so my anger was heightened by the $40 that she just destroyed.)
And then it hit me - "I don't have to do this!!! I have another choice."
And that night we made the decision to seek another home for her. We told the girls and they were crushed. As a parent I always knew that I'd see my kids go through heart ache - I just never thought that I would be the cause of it. Let's face it - if I could handle this, she could stay. Talk about a whopping amount of guilt to add to my already guilt ridden conscience.
I mentioned on Facebook that I was seeking a home (Ok, I didn't put it so kindly, it went something like this "anybody want a yellow lab puppy? Seriously.") Within minutes I had a few offers and a number of "I told you so's". Nate mentioned it at work and within the day had 3 offers to take her. (Are these people freaking crazy?!? Who offers to take a dog just like that?! It took us 10+ years and we still weren't ready!!)
The next week a family came over to meet her and loved her (despite the fact that she face planted their 3 year old son onto our driveway as they were leaving) and we made arrangements for them to pick her up the following week. Unfortunately, for me, Nate was headed out town (and I was supposed to be going too!) and due to Nash's skin issues she couldn't be kenneled which meant that she now had to survive - I mean, I had to survive - 4 days alone. By the time Sunday came I was sooooooo ready to hand her over. In the meantime she chewed through numerous sippy cups, paper bags, socks, knee pads, and the basket of my BOB stoller. It was like she knew something was coming and just had to piss me off one last time.
Fast forward to Sunday. The pick up went without a hitch. The girls were ready for it and had made their peace with her leaving so there were very few tears. I had every trace of Nash out of the house and yard within an hour. Along with her went much of my pent up anger of the last 4 months - it was so freeing! I actually smiled again. Ahhh....
Honestly, I really, really wish that we could have made it work. I feel horrible that we put our children through this (but I think they've already gotten over it). However, I know that we did the right thing - for everyone and every dog involved (except for maybe, Sammy, the new owner's other dog who now has to share her house with Nash - she might be getting a raw deal!). I've been amazed at the stories I've heard of other people who have done the same thing. Perhaps we will venture into pet territory again in 4-5 years when there is no baby in the house, but I'm not promising my husband or my children anything in that department until they can start pulling their weight in terms of ownership. I will NEVER do a puppy again - I don't have the knowledge or the willingness to deal with that. I know that now.
Live and learn.
There will be little that I will miss about Nash - her sweet puppy eyes, the way she would jump up and run when she heard her food hit the bowl, how cute she looked when wet, how excited she would get to see the girls...
However, there is a WHOLE LOT more that I won't miss about her. That might take a whole post.
We did the right thing. Right?
We're not horrible people. Right?
Anybody else out there ever have to give away a pet?
5 comments:
This is a conversation we should have via phone but let's just say that when Bix left I felt like a whole new woman. And I'm a dog gal... we'd loved Tucker for 13 fun years. We will definitely get another dog and probably sooner than later (Jett really did the majority of work, as much as an 8 year old could do) but I'd definitely accessing the situation before we make the jump!
And it was hard on my kids too, but they all liked me SO MUCH better once he was gone.
Some dogs are not the right fit for some families. This does not mean when you guys are ready the next won't be great! I have often said that if we had kids when we got our now 11 year old dog she would not have lasted...she would have had to go back. We adopted her after she had been returned by a family with small kids. She is fine with kids but was just an insane puppy. Our new puppy has been puppy-ish but nothing like Belle was and is GREAT with kids.
Are you kidding? You're a highly intelligent mother! I haven't looked back since we found a new home for Noodle. I'm sure she's happier, and I'm a much better mom, and let's face it, the kids were sad, but they got over it in....hours! It's good to know your limits! Miss you all!
LOLOL.... aw Holly...its all OK.. like you said, live and learn.. and (dare I say this on a BLOG) but when I was in my EARLY 20's and living in sin w/a boyfriend, we got a puppy, Sam.. he was german shepard and I loved him...but six months and 50 lbs. later, he would not stay in the yard and would tip over peoples trash cans ALL the time and I was constantly cleaning up our NEIGHBORHOOD...he wouldn't obey and the final straw was when he got a neighbor dog PREGNANT... so, I did the inevitable. I loaded him up in my truck and drove him to a different neighborhood about 10 miles away and just dropped him off. I KNOW I KNOW... I can hear it now....but I was so young...had NO idea that just was not acceptable.... but hey, it worked. So I think what you did was NOT BAD AT ALL... again, live and learn.xoxooxoxoxoxo
I can't believe you guys would do such a thing!!! :)
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