Maddie's been inadvertently teaching me a lot of lessons lately. Allow me to illustrate.
Last night before bed it was time for her to brush her teeth. Since the girls always clash over "who goes first" we have instituted an even/odd rule. Maddie's birthday falls on an odd day (the 15th) and Alex's falls on an even day (the 18th). Well, yesterday was the 13th day, an odd day; hence Maddie's turn to go first. She made excuse after excuse as to why she couldn't brush her teeth - all of them were met with my response, "Maddie, go brush your teeth." I could tell that she was becoming increasingly frustrated with my simple, practical response and becoming more angry at my obvious outlandish request (How dare I make my child brush her teeth! Aren't I a cruel mom?).
Finally, she turned to me - defiance written all over her face and steam coming out of her ears (wonder where she gets that posture from...?) and yelled,
"I quit!!"
I was stunned, trying hard not to laugh, and asked her, "what do you quit?"
She promptly, yet hesitantly replied, "I'm not going to be your little girl anymore!" Then she ran into her room and slammed the door.
(A small laugh escaped my lips, but behind the laughter was a glimpse of the future - let's just say I realize I'm in trouble.)
I waited for her to cool down and then she came out of her room and finally brushed her teeth. At her sister's urging she apologized to me and then we had a talk. I thanked her for telling me that she was sorry and that even though she doesn't like to brush her teeth - she has to. It's what big girls do and we all have to do things that we sometimes don't like. I then went on to explain that I love her regardless of if she is mad at me or not and that she could never do anything that would make me love her less. Finally, nothing will ever change the fact that she will always be my daughter. Nothing. We hugged and made up - fresh breath and all.
Another illustration...
Today we were at Border's book store picking out some gifts for Alex's upcoming birthday. Maddie was having a hard time choosing things that her sister would like and would instead pick up things that naturally grabbed her attention. She had her heart set on a Barbie coloring book with 4 fat crayons (clearly made for toddlers, not 7 year olds). We discussed how it wasn't the best choice for Alex and that if she really wanted the coloring book for herself then she could get some money from her piggy bank and we would come back another day for her to buy it.
She didn't like that idea.
I then offered an exchange - put back one item that we were buying for her and then she could get the coloring book. She didn't like that idea either.
Once again, I could see her frustration building, yet, thankfully she realized that we were in a public place and checked her temper (I've been lucky that between my two children I have only suffered a few full blown temper tantrums while in public!). She looked at me with tears in her eyes and roughly said,
"Your plans aren't my plans! I don't like them!"
I stood my ground - she didn't get the coloring book - but, wow, her words had an impact on me.
It made me think about all the times I've yelled at God - "your plans aren't my plans" just like a spoiled, obstinate child! I have control issues - I realize that - I want to plan my life, I want to be in control, and I want to have my choices realized - just like my 4 year old. How is my reaction to God's plans any different than Maddie's reaction to mine? I saw how often I must look like a child to God, but also saw that even when I want to "quit being his daughter" he will love me regardless - just as I love my children.
I've been blessed beyond measure, yet sometimes when things aren't going my way (have you seen the state of the United States, lately? - see previous post, if not) it is so easy to pout and get upset and take all the wonderful things in my life for granted. I thank God that I serve Him - who so mercifully forgives my indignation - time and time again.
Who knew it would take an obstinate 4 year old for me to see just how lucky I am?
What lessons have your children taught you?
2 comments:
My children have taught me that I definitely don't have as much patience as I thought I did! :-)
Ugh! Yes, I am guilty of responding to God like this.
Oh, how I miss Maddie! Hope you guys are well.
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