If ignorance is bliss, then what is awareness?

Maddie and I were on our way from the grocery store today when I spotted a homeless man on a street corner.  He held onto a sign that said, "Down on Luck" and shamelessly waited for somebody, anybody to help him.  I've seen people like this many times over and while my heart usually aches for them for a minute or two I've always driven right past.  

Today was different.  

I'm not sure why, but something about this man caught my attention in the nanosecond that I saw him.  Perhaps it was because you can't turn on the TV or read the paper without reading about the increase in the jobless, homeless, etc.  Maybe I felt guilty for just spending $50 on groceries when we really didn't need everything that I had bought.  Maybe I wanted to pat myself on the back and brag about "helping" someone.  Truthfully, I think all of those factors were at play, but the biggest reason was because I felt an undeniable urging to do something - anything.

I passed by and wondered what I could do to help.  I stopped to get gas and considered my options.  I had $7 in cash on me - I could drive by and give that to him.  However, I'm always wary of giving money as it may be spent on alcohol or drugs or other non essential items.  I could give him some of the groceries that I had just bought, but I doubted that he had much use for pancake mix or 2 lbs. of bananas.  I would have loved to let him get in the car and drive him to a shelter, but I don't trust strangers and would never put myself or my children in potential harms way.  

There was a McDonald's up the street and I figured that the least I could do was buy a value meal and drop it off to him.  However, even that felt awkward - how would he respond?  What if he didn't like it?  What if I offended him?  What if Nate thought I was an idiot?  

I didn't have answers to the questions, but I did have someone I could ask.  After getting my gas I got back in the car and asked God to tell me what to do OR to let me forget about this man.  His answer became clear - to McDonald's it was. 

Maddie became quite excited when we pulled into McDonald's as it is a rare treat for my kids.  She asked if we were eating there and since she was oblivious to my internal struggle I decided that I may as well explain to her why we were there.  I told her that we had passed a man on the street who didn't have anything to eat or drink and probably didn't even have a house to go home to.  I told her that when we have been blessed with a lot it is our responsibility to help others when we can.  She readily agreed (but also made it clear that she expected a Happy Meal with a toy - which, I obliged).  

As we pulled back to the corner I could see that he was giving up hope of anyone helping him (who knows how long he had been standing there) and was turning away to leave.  I rolled down the window, called to him, and handed him some lunch.  He mumbled "God bless you" and walked away.  As he was walking away the woman in front of me rolled down her window and handed him some cash.  In watching him I wondered if he suffered from some sort of mental illness as he continued to mumble and talk aloud to himself as he limped away.  I don't know his story - I can't even begin to imagine.  There is even a real possibility that I was completely duped and had just wasted three dollars.  But, honestly, I don't care -  I waste $3 almost on a daily basis.  Whatever his story, how sad, horrific, wonderful, terrible, etc. it may be - it doesn't matter.  

I call myself a Christian; however, I'm not always Christ like.  

I realized that although I'm not deliberately hurting people,  I'm also not deliberately helping people.  

As much as I hate to admit it, I don't willingly give of my time and resources to help those in need.  Too often I pass judgement first - "well, they should be working harder or not drinking or they probably deserve the situation they are in" - these thoughts go through my head first.  Or I justify - "we don't have the extra money, we are trying to get out of debt, saving for the future, etc." - why I can't help.  Or worse yet, I think about my wants - the new pair of jeans, the coveted iphone, the date night with my husband, the upcoming vacation, the anti-wrinkle cream (those ads have become all too appealing lately!) - before I think of the needs of others.  

The truth is that whatever my excuses may be, they don't matter.  I can't help everyone, I won't help everyone, I don't need to know their story and deem whether or not they "deserve" my help.  The truth is that if I call myself a Christian I need to help when I can - in any way that I can.  Be it a simple prayer or a $3 lunch - every little bit helps.  You never know where one small act of kindness is making a difference. 

I'll drive by many more homeless people in my lifetime, I'll ignore the horror stories on the news, and I'll even spend my money foolishly at times.  I'm far from perfect - this isn't meant as a "holier than thou" post because I spent $3 on lunch at McDonald's for a stranger.  I fully realize that I didn't do much.  Many of you do a WHOLE LOT more than that on a regular basis.  This isn't meant to "guilt" you into doing something or nothing.  Instead, this is written so that I can remember how easy it is to do something small to help those in need.  I pray that God continues to show me ways that I can help those less fortunate than me and I pray that I never take the numerous blessings in my life for granted.

What are you doing to deliberately help people?